


let's find the good in goodbye

by itsemomamoru



Series: levi x gender neutral!reader [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 18+, Angst, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Emotional Sex, Emotions, Goodbye Sex, Goodbyes, Hickies, Light Dialogue, Love, Love marks, Making Love, Marks, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Married Sex, NSFW, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Promises, Reunion Sex, Sad and Happy, Slow Sex, Smut, Soft Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Soft sex, gender neutral reader, husband!levi, just sad, soft smut, spouses, this broke me so hard you don't even know, timeline divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28424643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsemomamoru/pseuds/itsemomamoru
Summary: 2/24/21 - PART TWO IS FINALLY UP 🥳**** while I did take some creative liberties with the aot plot/timeline for this to make sense there are still ***SPOILERS*** for the end of season three AND the manga/season four.You and Levi spending your last night together.playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2PfqowMbmLMmU6DmtzzmFD?si=OvxxL5LOT-KP-1GxD7Wbcg&utm_source=copy-linknot beta read just like with pretty much everything else I write lmfao
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Series: levi x gender neutral!reader [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134620
Comments: 49
Kudos: 168





	1. let's find the good in goodbye

Levi has been quiet since returning from Shiganshina.

Having been married to him for years, you've learned to see through his emotionless exterior that he keeps up for the world. You know he's suffering, and you can't even begin to imagine what he's seen. What he had to go through, the choices he had to make. The all consuming grief and loss he must be feeling. He'd lost his oldest friend and closest comrade, you knew that much.

You comfort him as best you can everyday, holding his hand, wrapping your arms around him. Kisses to his temple, across his cheeks. Quiet ways to reassure him of your love for him. As hard as it is, you give him space by avoiding asking any questions about the turn of events, knowing he'll come to you when he's ready. 

And he does, just like always. Though, he doesn't want to talk about what happened, rather what _has_ to happen. 

He tells you a watered down version of the truth surrounding the Titans, the walls, everything. He takes his time, making sure you understand before he moves on, answering any question you might have.

Then he moves on to the plan, here he isn't so open and thorough. Simply because he can't be. If you know too much you could be in danger, so he lightly touches on the main points. 

All you manage to grasp is that he's leaving, and he won't be back for years.

If ever.

He holds you close as you fall apart. Crying against his chest, clutching onto his jacket. You know why they need him, he's humanity's strongest. But with this plan you also know the chances of seeing him again are slim to _none_.

You're incredibly excited that humanity has more information than previously, but at what cost? How many more soldiers will be lost this time? How many other families, spouses, friends will experience the pain you know you're going to go through?

\-----

The night before he has to leave, you enjoy dinner together like normal. Though the tense feeling in the air is new, and incredibly stifling. Neither of you talking, because you don't know what to say.

You help him make sure he has everything packed. Both of you still silent, neither dare voice it aloud. But you both know, deep down, that you'll never see each other again. Though it sure as hell is nice to pretend. To act like this is like his other expeditions, that he'll be back eventually.

He goes to get ready for bed but you stop him, tired of the quiet. You guide him to sit on the edge of your bed. You cradle his precious face and kiss him, he returns it, but not like he usually does. It's guarded, hesitant. As if he's afraid to kiss you back. Your heart pinches at the thought.

You place a kiss below his ear, he shudders. But he still makes no move to touch you.

"Levi, _please._ "

You lean your forehead against his.

"I need you, I want us to remember our last night together as something good."

Your voice breaks as you plead.

"Please don't push me away."

He hesitates. His voice is strained when he finally speaks up. 

"I'm not going to be able to hold back."

 _That's_ what he's worried about?

"Then don't. Give me everything."

His eyes hold uncertainty, and a hint of fear in them. 

"If I'm uncomfortable I'll let you know, promise."

He nods softly before pressing his lips to yours, eyes fluttering shut. You return the kiss, slowly, fervently. Pouring everything you can into it. He winds his arms around you, and in a swift move he has you laying back against the bed. His lips move from yours to kiss along your neck, which you turn to expose more of to him.

He trails his way to your collarbones, biting the soft skin there, your sighs are music to his ears. He quickly soothes each stinging spot with a kiss right after. He makes fast work of removing your shirt, he leaves more of his marks across your stomach.

His hands are now at the top of your pants, his eyes flick to yours, asking permission. You nod, and he pulls them along with your underwear down slowly, keeping eye contact with you because he knows it drives you crazy. The warmth pooling in your stomach ignites under his steely, hungry gaze. 

He quickly discards the lump of fabric on the floor, positioning his head between your legs. He leaves countless marks and kisses along the insides of your thighs. His warm hands burn his touch into the soft skin. Your mind feels fuzzy, and he's hardly done anything yet.

But when he finally does, god.

He uses his tongue, his mouth, his hands and fingers. He knows just how to get you to that high place. He has always been incredibly skilled with his hands, but even more so in bed. Levi is the only man who could ever satisfy you. Your eyes burn with tears at the thought of never feeling him again. But you push it away, determined to enjoy this, to enjoy him.

That heavy, warm feeling pooling in your stomach grows steadily as he continues his movements. He expertly works you up and over your peak, steady hands holding your hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles as your legs tremble at the bliss he's brought you to. His eyes stay focused on you, watching your beautiful expressions that match the glorious sounds tumbling out of you. He loves to watch you crumble beneath his touch.

It's a shame he'll never see it again.

He shakes his head softly at the thought. He's not worried about that right now, the only thing on his mind is taking care of you, showing you everything he has to give.

When you've recovered enough, you sit up, instructing him to lay back against the bed. He does, supporting himself with a pillow. You straddle him and unbutton his shirt, pushing it open to admire his beautiful upper body.You can't ignore his hard cock beneath you if you wanted to, the feeling getting you turned on again. You need to feel him inside you already.

You press hot kisses along the column of his throat, he tips his head back as you do, swallowing thickly. You smirk into his skin as you move against his collarbones.

He begs, pleads with you to mark him up. And to do it _hard_ , he wants them to last as long as possible. You're a little shocked, he's never liked hickies or bites, but you're happy to oblige. Knowing that when he'll see them, he'll be reminded of tonight.

His hands knead into your thighs as he hisses softly at a few particularly hard bites, you pay extra attention to those spots. Soothing them with your lips and tongue.

When you're satisfied with the marks blooming all over his neck, collarbones and stomach. You trail a hand down to palm at him through the fabric of his pants. His eyes flutter shut, moaning out at the feeling.

You move off of him, hands working to rid him of his pants. You remove his underwear next, his dick springing free. He groans as the air of the room hits the hot skin. You waste no time, licking the precum then kissing the tip. He shudders and throws his head back slightly. You take him into your mouth, slowly, evenly. A soft "fuck" escapes him when you take the last bit in.

You begin that steady rhythm of taking him in and out of your mouth. With each of your movements he swears he's in heaven. The tense fire in his stomach is growing rapidly, he's not going to last long. 

It's always amazing to see the change in him. The hunger in his eyes as he pleasures you is such a contrast to the teary look of his own now pleasured eyes.

You always know he's close when his fingers tangle in your hair. He tries not to, but he can't help but fuck your mouth, moans and inaudible mumblings falling from his lips. His dick throbs heavily in your mouth, his hands guiding you up and down. 

Just like clockwork, his hands still as his cock jerks in your mouth. His eyes squeeze shut against the ecstasy coursing through his veins. His breaths are quick and shallow, nearly panting. You swallow everything. 

His breathing starts to return to normal as he falls back down, you release his cock, the back of your hand wiping the spit and cum off your lips and chin.

You hover over him, leaning down to kiss him. He moans at the faint taste of his arousal on your lips. He gently flips you so you're beneath him, his arms on either side of your head.

His bangs are falling forward as he looks down at you, slightly covering his eyes, but you can still see that the hungry look is back. There goes the burning in your stomach again.

You wrap your arms around his neck, he reaches a hand down to line his hard again dick up with you. You both moan softly at the feeling of his tip pressing into you, he returns his hand up, brushing your hair behind your ear as he continues to push in. He takes his time, letting you adjust as he goes. When he finally bottoms out he kisses you, swallowing your moan at the stretch that's always just a little painful.

He works to control his breathing, letting you adjust fully. When you give the ok, he gives a testing thrust, just like he always does.

"Is this alright baby?"

Your nod and the feeling of your legs wrapping around him, pulling him impossibly closer are all he needs.

The way he's desperately stretching you, filling you is bittersweet, and incredibly new. Almost feeling like he's trying to imprint himself inside you. He really must have been holding back all these years, the idea hurts just a little. But you're glad he's giving you everything now, just like you wanted.

It's like you have all the time in the world as he gently, slowly rocks in and out of you. He's focusing on depth, rather than speed. He needs to metaphorically carve himself into you, he needs you to feel him deeper than you've ever felt him before, so there's no way you could ever forget him.

But suddenly he remembers Hanji telling him something once. They'd mentioned that it takes seven years for someone's body to completely replace their cells. Meaning that in seven years, while you might not have, your body will have forgotten him. In seven years, your cells will have forgotten his touch.

His eyes fill with tears at that thought. 

He knows no matter how much he gives you, it will never be enough to sustain you in his absence. But that sure as hell doesn't stop him from giving you everything he has anyway.

As he reaches his high, his cry of pleasure is mixed with a sob. It's a pitifully broken sound. But he could give a fuck less. 

Against the blinding pleasure tearing through him, he works to guide you to your own high again. You get there moments after him. 

Shaking arms hold onto him for dear life, nails digging crescents into the skin of his back. He returns the embrace, holding you close against him as he spills into you. He can feel your heart pounding against his chest. When your breathing returns to normal, his hand finds yours, fingers threading through your own, squeezing as he pins it down against the mattress. His wedding band presses into your skin and you sob at the feeling, it being a reminder of everything you're losing. You tighten your grip in return. 

You tilt up, pressing the softest kisses across his face. You taste the salt of his tears on his cheeks, you kiss them all away. Your own tears start to fall as you look into his stunning eyes. The love he has for you reflecting in them is almost too much, if you were standing your knees would've given out at the tenderness of his gaze.

Both of you simply hold each other, eyes trained on the other for a few moments. They speak the words you don't dare say out loud. Gratitude for the years you've spent together, deep love, fear over the future. Anything and everything, it's all there. Hidden amongst the tears you both cry. 

He nuzzles against the skin where your neck and shoulder meet, savoring your scent, sighing heavily. The warmth of his breath fanning over your sensitive skin makes you shiver, and he reacts. Quickly becoming achingly hard again, giving you a sheepish look. But you gently assure him you can keep going. He's honestly surprised he still has anything left, but in the same moment realizes it must be that damn Ackerman blood of his. You both breathe together, recovering just enough, then you're at it again. 

He commits everything he can to memory. The way your eyes flutter, soft sighs escaping your perfect lips. How warm and soft it feels to be inside of you. The two of you quickly lose all sense of time, having found your second wind as you succumb to bliss over and over again.Your bodies burn for each other, cheeks flushed the deepest red you've ever seen.

How many is this now? Neither of you know, minds numb with pleasure, unable to do anything besides focus on each other. You're thoroughly reduced to panting, sweaty messes, speaking a language of moans and sweet nothings as you simply can't hold each other close enough. The two of you go way past your limits, trusting that if the other has had enough they'll stop. But neither of you do, you keep going until you have absolutely nothing left. Bodies giving out within seconds of each other.

When you finally part, he pulls you close against his side. He gently kisses every bruise and mark he's left on your skin. Surprisingly, in your hazy post sex mind, you're able to form a question. When he'd went over the plan, he'd mentioned the sea... You speak up, voice hoarse from the pleasured cries he pulled from you.

"Will you do something for me?"

His hazy eyes focus on yours, the vulnerability and uncertainty in them burn him. He holds your hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing along your knuckles. He fiddles with your wedding band.

"Of course."

His voice is nothing more than a whisper.

"Write my name in the sand?"

Is that really all you want? You deserve so much more. He'd get you the moon and every goddamn star in the sky if you asked. Of course he can write your name in the sand. He smoothes the hair out of your face, pressing an achingly tender kiss to your sweaty forehead.

"I will, promise."

It isn't long before the two of you fall asleep, clinging to each other, bodies maxed out and exhausted.

\-----

He wakes just a little before the sun rises. The sky is beginning to lighten, illuminating the room just enough.

His gaze falls on you, sleeping peacefully under the sheets. His pride flares softly at the marks that litter your collarbones.

He reaches out to stroke your cheek softly, a lump forms in his throat as he presses a kiss to your temple. He should wake you, but he can't bring himself to. It would shatter him, and he would have a final moment of weakness. Falling back into your warm embrace, forsaking his duties to make love to your body again and again, never leaving.

He summons all the strength left inside of him to carefully get out of bed. The scratches you left across his back sting as the air of the room hits them. He readjusts the sheets to cover your shoulders from that same cool morning air. His legs ache and tremble softly as he moves around the room. 

He writes a quick apology on a scrap of paper he finds, placing it on his pillow next to you.

_I'm so sorry darling, I wouldn't have had the strength to leave if I woke you. I don't deserve it, but please forgive me? Thank you for last night, the memories will surely sustain me, and I'll savor each of these marks you've left until they fade._

_I love you dearly, and am so incredibly thankful for the years we've spent together. I can't imagine having loved anyone but you, sweetheart. Thank you for marrying me, you make life worth living._

_I'm off to write your name along the shore._

_Until we meet again, in this life or the next..._

_Your loving, devoted husband forever, Levi_

He freshens up, once again admiring the marks you'd left on him. He steels himself, rebuilding his guard and pushing his mounting fear aside as he dons his scout uniform. He's on autopilot as he expertly weaves the leather straps for his 3DM gear up his legs and around his torso. He feels nothing as he ties his ascot around his neck, finally he slips his jacket on. He grabs his dark green cloak, but doesn't put it on just yet.

The sun has just risen when he makes his way to your bedroom doorway. He hesitates, turning to see you one last time.

His heart skips a beat.

You're always beautiful, but even more so now at the end. The sunlight streaming in through the window is kissing your skin, reflecting off your hair creating an otherworldly and angelic glow around you. The sex wrinkled sheets you're nestled in a sinful contrast to the otherwise holy image.

He drinks in the sight as long as he can, memorizing it. Storing it away with every memory of your final night together. He takes a deep, steadying breath.

Then he's gone.

\-----

As Levi makes his way back down to the beach after everyone is asleep, his thoughts turn to you for the millionth time since he left. 

How are you doing right now? Did you cry when you woke up alone? Or did you take a deep breath and go about your day? His heart is drenched in guilt at either scenario, he's starting to wish he had said a proper final goodbye. 

He squats down, extending a finger to the wet sand. He slowly, reverently writes your name, pouring his love and devotion to you in every letter so that maybe, just _maybe_ you'll feel it all the way back home. Next to it, he draws a large heart, which he puts both of your names inside of. Just like the lovesick teenagers do these days.

His eyes burn as he admires his doodles.

You would love this. He really did try to enjoy it earlier, the beautiful sky, the fresh air. But he couldn't, not without you. Although he did find you a beautiful seashell that he's going to protect with his life. So, that just in case he survives, if he can see you again, he can give it to you.

He tries to imagine you here with him, your eyes sparkling brighter than the sea as you watch it in awe. You pulling him into the water, playfully splashing him. He'd pick you up and pretend to throw you in as payback. Your screeches and giggles music to his ears, then you share a soft kiss that tastes of salt. His cheeks flare crimson as the thought of the two of you making love on the beach crosses his mind, the coarse sand a sinful contrast against your soft skin.

All too soon, the tide rolls in and washes his writing away. The tears that slip down his cheeks are more bitter than the salty sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry😭
> 
> Happy New Year's Eve!! 🎉🍾🥂
> 
> One thing I'll be bringing with me into 2021? Uhm, the alarming speed and ease of writing Levi smuts 😅
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated!!♥️


	2. homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THERE ARE SOME LEVI MANGA/SEASON FOUR SPOILERS IN THIS CHAPTER 
> 
> ***Mentions of depression, PTSD, scars and injuries.***

You can feel yourself forgetting him.

Your husband, best friend and lover all at once. Your soulmate, though you never believed in such a thing before meeting him. The absolute love and light of your life, the best thing to ever happen to you. Your rock and comfort. The one you could always run to.

Levi, your darling Levi.

Of course you don't want to, but your mind is quickly losing the image of his face, the feeling of his warmth surrounding you. And the more you try to remember him, the more you lose.

So you stop.

As hard and painful as it is, you force yourself to stop trying, otherwise you'll lose him completely and that thought sends you into a panic.

When the Jaeger diaries had been brought back from Shiganshina, there had been something called a photograph inside.

How you wish they'd had the right equipment to take one back then. You'd give anything to have one of Levi, you _need_ to look at him again. To see his piercing silver eyes staring into yours, his silky bangs framing his beautiful face. He'd no doubt keep his guard up for it, face dead serious because you're the only one who got to see it soften. And he'd never want physical proof that he can smile, that he can be gentle.

Minutes turned to hours, which turned to days and years. Seasons blurred together in a muddy tapestry, the normal color and vibrance gone, almost as if a gloomy tint had been placed over the world since that day you woke up alone.

You periodically pull out the chest of clothes he left behind, running your fingers along the fabric of his dress shirts. Sometimes you'll pull one out, just to smell his fading scent. 

You fear the day when your nose no longer picks up on it.

At night, you hold his pillow close. The scent has long since faded from that fabric. The whole thing is misshapen from the years you've spent clutching onto it. You figured it might get easier as the years went by but it hasn't, it's only gotten worse. 

Your entire being cries out for him.

You're always so cold, no matter how many layers or blankets you use to combat it. No fire burns hot enough to warm you. The icy feeling is always present.

The house is so empty, quiet and dark without him. He always told you you were _his_ light, but he never understood how much light he brought you in return.

And maybe you didn't either, because this darkness is too much. The choking feeling of regret, of taking him for granted are your near constant companion since he left all those years ago.

You wish you'd held him tighter, kissed him longer. You should've told him you loved him more often than you did. You always knew something like this could happen, so why didn't you prepare better?

Sometimes as you drift off to sleep, you swear you can feel the ghost of his touch, of his warm arms around you. His soft lips pressing kisses to the nape of your neck.

And in those moments you can't help but wonder, is he even alive now?

He's an Ackerman, he's humanity's strongest soldier. But even he has a point of no return, has he reached it already?

\-----

It's deep in winter when you hear the news. The remaining scouts are returning after five years. Your heart soars, knowing that their plan was a success and the world is finally safe. 

You have a surge of cautious hope.

However, you just can't bring yourself to go watch them walk in. What if Levi isn't among them? What if he didn't make it? You'd rather not find out in the large, congested crowd of people, preferring to grieve in private.

But what if he did make it, would he recognize you? It's been a while, and you're sure your face has changed some. But surely he couldn't forget you, right?

_Please, Levi. If you're alive, make it back to me._

\-----

Levi has never been more exhausted in his entire life, his whole body feels heavy as lead. The brutal bone chilling cold does nothing to help, his feet crunch in the snow with every step. He feels his eyes droop often, but he shakes it off, determined to keep moving. He has to find your home, he has to know if you're still there, to see if you've survived the time apart.

So he trudges on through the streets covered in white fluff, pulling his too big, borrowed and threadbare coat a little tighter against the biting air. His left leg is slowing him down considerably, it's still weak and the limp is heavy. He desperately needs to rest, but he can't until he's safe, whether it's with you or not remains to be seen.

He didn't see you in the crowd that gathered to welcome the few scouts left, his head spins at the different reasons why that could be. His mind only settles on bad scenarios, but surely you're ok? 

Right?

The house you'd shared is still standing, untouched by time. Everything looks the same as far as he can tell with the snow, he just hopes that means you're still living here. His heart is in his throat, choking him as he cautiously makes his way to the front door. 

He lifts his hand to knock. Is he shaking from the cold or anxiety?

He manages a few raps against the wood in front of him, his breath slows as he waits. But he quickly starts to panic, what if his worst fears are true? What if you're not here, what if you've moved and found someone else? What if you're no longer living? What would he do then? 

The last few years had taken more than he'd ever lost before _combined,_ and if you were taken from him too? He simply wouldn't have anything left to live for. So he cautiously hopes that you're the first one he doesn't lose, but he also prepares himself for the worst.

Because the worst is all he's used too.

It isn't long before he hears footsteps and movement from behind the door, the sounds pulling him from his thoughts as his heartbeat picks up, blood roaring in his ears.

He's frozen in place as you step into the doorway, relief floods his body and he nearly collapses. He can hardly believe his eyes.

You instantly recognize your husband, how could you ever forget him? Sure his gray eyes hold more pain in their depths than ever before, and true his face now bears two scars running next to each other, one extends into his lip. And speaking of his lips, they're irritated, chapped and peeling. His body is skinnier than you remember and his clothes are stained, with equal parts blood and dirt. But he's still Levi, _your_ Levi. The man you fell in love with all those years ago.

The one you thought you'd never see again.

He stares at you part in awe and trepidation, afraid that if he blinks you'll disappear. 

You move closer, standing just in front of him. Your soft hand finds his face, stroking his cheek, tenderly tracing his scars with your thumb. He gasps at the feeling, he has to remind himself to breathe, and by doing so he inhales your comforting scent. It hasn't changed, even after all this time.

You're _real_. Not some wonderful hallucination his grief striken mind came up with.

He raises his own trembling hands to finally touch you, resting them on either side of your neck, thumbs stroking along your jawline as he gazes into your eyes. His own eyes quickly filling with tears of relief, happiness and gratitude.

You throw your arms around him, and he breaks. He sags against you, but you gently guide both of you to the ground, the snow quickly soaking into your clothes. He sobs, not caring if the neighbors see humanity's strongest Levi Ackerman reduced to tears at seeing the love of his life alive and safe. Emotions built up over years, a lifetime, finally surfacing.

He leans his head against your chest, listening to your heartbeat. He's never been happier to hear anything in his life, his tears quickly soak the fabric of your shirt. He finally, slowly wraps his arms around you. Your chin rests on his head as your arms tighten around him, you lift a hand to his head, fingers threading in his hair. You lovingly note that his usually immaculate undershave needs a trim as you cry right along with him.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to town to greet you, I'm so, _so_ sorry you had to walk over here like this all alone. I was just too afraid. I-"

His hold tightens just a little, but it's enough to knock you breathless for a moment as he responds.

"It's ok, really. I'm just so glad you're alright."

He takes a deep, steadying breath. His voice is broken, dejected and sadder than you've ever heard when he speaks up.

"And, _I'm_ sorry I didn't say goodbye the morning I left. I've regretted it every day since."

That's the last thing you're worried about, and your heart breaks at the fact that those are some of the first words he's spoken to you in years. The pain of that decision haunting him this long. It's your turn to hold him tighter, reassuring him through touch how much you love him.

"Levi, listen to me darling. I never _ever_ resented you for it, I know you had to do it. But I also know you need to hear me say it so-"

You softly clear your throat to steady your voice before continuing.

"Levi, I forgive you."

He chokes on a sob.

He knows, rationally, that he shouldn't have let the guilt weigh him down so long. But at hearing your forgiveness he feels so much lighter, he can breathe easier.

You stay like that for a few moments, holding each while you continue to cry your hearts out, in relief and love. You finally pull back just enough to look at him. Through your own tears you're able to see Levi's eyes are rimmed with pink, his cheeks ruddy and stained with tears. You press kisses all over, soothing the irritated skin.

"It's cold, let's get you inside, hm?"

He is incredibly weak, needing your assistance to stand and walk into the house. And you can't help but notice he sports a heavy limp on his left side. You settle him in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. You begin a comfortably quiet routine, prioritizing getting him clean, warm and fed as soon as possible. 

You run and grab the thickest quilt, returning to the kitchen. You drape it around his shoulders, rubbing your hands up and down in an attempt to generate more heat. 

Next you cut him a slice of bread, knowing he must be starving, and you can do some of the other steps while he eats. He's probably not had a proper meal in a long time, so it's best to start small. Though you want so badly to make a full, warm dinner for him. You also get him some water.

Returning to his side with his bread and water, you set them down in front of him, then scoot your chair closer to his.

He gives you his gentle thanks, then takes a bite of the bread. Savoring it as he chews, and your heart cracks. You start crying softly again. But then again, maybe you never stopped.

Your hand holds onto his forearm, thumb stroking his skin tenderly. Your heart sinks as your thumb brushes against the back of his hand, you look down to see that it's incredibly dry, irritated and cracking with some blood. 

"Levi, your hands."

You quickly gather some salve and linen wraps. You now notice in addition to his poor hands being in such a state, he's missing the index and middle fingers of his right hand. How could you have missed it? He cradled your face earlier, how did you not realize? You feel awful. 

But you shove the guilty feeling away, you gently kiss both of his hands, a few extra kisses placed where his fingers used to be. Then you tenderly rub the soothing salve into his skin, he hisses softly and you apologize profusely. His hands are trembling in pain by the time you've started to carefully cover them with the cloth wrapping to protect them. Tears are gathering along his lash line as you finish covering them. 

"Thank you."

You dab a bit of the healing ointment on his lips as well, softly rubbing it in. You smooth his bangs away to gently kiss his forehead before pulling back to look into his eyes, voice gentle as you tell him:

"I'll take care of you and patch you up as best I can for tonight, but you need to see the physician, ok?"

He nods softly. You move to kiss his temple, mumbling against his skin.

"I'll take you tomorrow."

You help him sip on the water, his hands too bandaged to lift the cup properly. You gently support his neck as he tips his head back, swallowing the little bits you pour into his mouth.

You end the night gently bathing him.

He starts to doze off, the warm water relaxing and luling him as your fingers tenderly scrub at his scalp, washing (months worth? years worth?) built up blood, dirt and grime from his raven hair.

With him asleep, you allow yourself to break. Sobbing quietly as you gingerly tend to his battered body.

Dark bruises are blooming across his chest and stomach, his left knee looks about the same, it was probably broken at some point. How he is even able to walk is beyond you, you're amazed that he made it back at all. Everything is a testament to the hell he's been through. He never did talk about Shiganshina, and he most likely will never talk about what happened over the last five years. 

\-----

You get him dried off and into some night clothes. It hurts to see how loose they are on him. He's still sleepy, eyes fluttering as you settle him into bed.

He practically melts once he lays down, a long and content sigh escaping him at finally being in his own bed for the first time in too long. You cover him, placing a kiss against his temple. You bring a hand up to tenderly run your fingers through his still damp hair.

"I've missed cutting your hair."

He nuzzles against your hand as he hums happily. His voice is quiet, but steady when he asks.

"Well, it's getting long, do you want to trim it tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'd love that."

A soft, giddy laugh escapes you at the thought of being able to do such a simple thing once more. 

He starts to really drift off now, his speech is slow and mumbled.

"What'd you do.. with… my jacket?"

You can't help but smile at how adorable he is, how peaceful and still the room feels.

"I still have it, I'm going to wash it."

"Che.. Check the pockets first.. There's something in there for you."

"Oh? Like what my love."

"A souvenir."

His eyes are closed, a small, teasing smile on his face. Your heart warms, his sense of humor coming through for a moment. You breathe a little easier just hearing him crack a joke of sorts.

You tell him you're excited to see what he brought back, but that he needs to sleep first. And that you'll watch over him for a bit before going to sleep yourself, so he doesn't need to worry about anything. He shakes his head slightly, almost like a small child who doesn't want to take their nap. 

"Won't sleep.. Unless.. You hold me."

Your blood runs cold with fear, mind running a mile a minute as it tries to keep up with the countless questions springing up. He wants you to hold him? Doesn't he know how badly injured he is? Couldn't you make it worse? What if you hurt him?

He speaks up, almost as if he can hear your thoughts.

"Oi, I'll be ok… I- I survived didn't I?"

He sleepily brings a hand out from under the blankets, holding onto yours.

"You won't hurt me… Promise."

He opens his eyes, seeing your reluctant, scared expression. His heart falls and he tears up just a little, as he quietly pleads.

"I don't want to sleep alone.. I want your arms around me, just like before."

"Ok."

He perks up. You slip into bed behind him, pressing close against his back. Your arms carefully, somewhat shakily, wrap around him. One goes under his neck, resting across the front of his chest, hand above his heart, careful not to hit any of the bruises you know are just under his shirt. You drape your other arm over his hip, you very gently start to trace soothing shapes against his skin. You press a few gentle kisses against the nape of his neck.

He melts into you, feeling your gentle warmth, oh how he's missed this. He reaches for the hand you have on his chest, he laces his fingers through yours, bringing your hand to his mouth, gently kissing your knuckles. As he does this, you finally start to relax. Finally, he holds your entwined hands under his cheek, resting against them.

You bask in the feeling of holding him, what you had missed and longed for so many years. His scent that you tried to preserve on his clothes, now drifting off him and comforting you. 

The two of you fall asleep in no time, the relief of holding each other once again incredibly relaxing.

\-----

The list of injuries the doctor notes is extensive.

He broke a few ribs, but narrowly avoided puncturing his lung. His knee by some miracle wasn't broken, it was just dislocated, at some point it did pop back in, but regardless has started to heal weird. Meaning, he'll always have a limp to some degree. The vision in his left eye was impaired but not enough for him to notice, at least not yet. There's a chance he'll go completely blind in that eye. His hearing might be damaged, it's hard to say right now. 

And you both realize, if he wasn't an Ackerman, he would have died long ago.

Once you're home, the medicine and herbs the doctor supplied you with put away, Levi notices you're a little shaken up at hearing just how messed up his body is. Though you try to hide how worried and anxious you are, he can see right through you.

He decides to try and cheer you up.

He retrieves the "souvenir" he mentioned. He finds you in your shared bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently calls out to you as he moves to stand in front of you.

"I have that gift I talked about last night."

He holds his freshly bandaged hands out, fingers curled as best he can, hiding an object in his palms.

"All those years ago, I kept my promise to write your name in the sand."

He watches as a gentle awe filled expression lights up your face, tears quickly forming in your eyes. 

"That same day I found this, it's not much for all the pain I've put you through, but it caught my attention. It's beautiful, just like you."

A gentle blush spreads across his face, gracing the tips of his ears.

"I've protected it since that day with the intention to bring it home to you if I was lucky enough to make it back."

A soft, awestruck and almost disbelieving laugh escapes him.

"Which I guess I was."

He places the gift in your hands. It's a beautiful, delicate, swirling white shell. You remember seeing something like it in the diaries, but it's even better to hold one. The sea _is_ real. There's a few small cracks and chips along it's pearlescent coating. A few dark stains are littered across it as well, you can only guess it's blood.

And it's no doubt human's, titan blood would've evaporated long ago..

Your tears spill over as you continue gazing at the shell you hold, wondering what it went through. What Levi went through. The pain, the injuries that you can't see, the heartbreak. But you're also so incredibly grateful for this little shell, knowing that as small and simple as it is, it helped him keep fighting. 

You gently place the shell on the bed, then wrap your arms around Levi's middle, resting your head against his chest as you cry softly. His beating heart such a comforting sound. He places a hand on the back of your head, softly stroking your hair. His other hand rubs up and down your back.

You take a deep, sniffling breath, then clear your throat to steady your voice.

"Thank you, Levi. I'll treasure it forever."

\-----

He makes a near full recovery in a few months, gaining back the weight he lost. Hands healed. Broken ribs and messed up knee mending themselves, though he still has a very slight limp, just as the doctor predicted. But the effects on his mind, and some on his body, are forever.

In a lot of ways it's like he never left, his presence filling your house back up again. But at the same time it's different. He has moments where he stares off into space and you know he must be reliving something awful. You gently speak to him to alert him to your presence, you let him know what you're doing before you touch him. He always tenses a little when you wrap him gently in your arms, but he quickly relaxes into your warmth, your scent pulling him back from hell.

But what breaks your heart the most? Are in the rare moments when he really forgets that everything is ok, that he doesn't have to fight anymore. Those times, it's harder for him to come back, he'll frantically search the house for his old gear and blades, incoherent mumblings of "Need to protect everyone." or "Have to keep fighting, keep going."

Just like any other time, you gently call out to him. And once you get his attention, you gently remind him that everything is fine, to look around and see where he is. He's at home, he's looking at you, and he starts to realize that he's alright. But his voice is always so haunted, cracking when he asks.

"There's no more titans? No war?"

"No sweetie, you're safe, I'm safe."

He breaks down, burying his head against your shoulder. You hold him close, whispering words of comfort, love and praise to him until he calms down.

"Levi, you've helped this world finally know peace. I'm so proud of you darling."

He always has to be touching you in some way. His pinky holding yours, your shoulders pressed against each other while eating, his hand on the small of your back when he reaches for something. He just has to remind himself that you're real. He feels a little bad though, afraid he's being annoying or clingy, but he can't help it. And you assure him there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. 

You always return his touches in those moments to further confirm that you're here, that he's here, that both of you are ok.

He absolutely adores doing the chores with you, something he didn't get to do as often before since he was always pretty busy with captain duties. If people thought he was a neat freak before, he really is now. 

He cooks a lot, so much in fact he's practically taken over all kitchen responsibilities. He says it's to make up for the years he was gone, but it's also a good way for him to stay busy which seems to help him have less of those flashbacks. He's also started a flower and vegetable garden, he loves the feeling of cultivating and nourishing instead of destruction. He loves being outside in the sun, hands in the dirt as he plants or harvests.

The pride and accomplishment he feels when he's able to use the vegetables he grew in his food dishes is such an amazing feeling, and it's even better when you praise and compliment his food. In his typical waste not want not fashion, he always preserves and stores away what he can for the winter, so you can enjoy fresher food during those dark, cold months.

He likes to arrange little flower bouquets for you, using an old book of Hanji's he found about the language of flowers. That's a holy text to him. He also dries out the flowers he grows, and experiments with the petals in his tea and he's even started using them in desserts. He's always wanted to open a tea shop, now that the world is at peace, he thinks he might do just that. Maybe he'll serve some of his sweets there too. If the way you enjoy them is any indication, he's sure others will love them too. 

Some nights you find yourself awake, simply staring lovingly at his sleeping face. He looks so relaxed, so free in rest it makes your heart ache. He deserves it after the hell he's been through. Your hand will find it's way over his features, fingers drawing feather light touches across his beautiful face, carefully, as not to wake him up. Along his nose, his lips, his cheeks and his scars. Trailing over the shell of his ear, his jawline. A tiny, subconscious smile appears on his face and you cry softly, in parts disbelief and utter gratitude that he's by your side once more.

\-----

Levi pulls you close, his arms wrap around your waist. You circle his neck with your own arms, a gentle hand stroking his undercut. You both sway softly together, foreheads pressed together, enjoying each other's warmth.

He starts to press tender kisses across your face. Your cheeks, your nose. A whole bunch across your brow. He presses a more heated one to the corner of your mouth, savoring your soft sigh.

Next time he goes for the other side, but you meet him in the middle, connecting your lips for the first time in too long.

He nearly whimpers.

The scar that extends into his lip feels slightly rough against your own. It's a new sensation, but not an unwelcome one. You want to feel it down lower… You quickly chastise yourself, there is pain behind that scar and here you are getting flustered by it.

His kiss is needy, desperate. Yet as soft as he always had been. Hesitantly, you move to pull back but he stops you, a gentle hand on your neck keeping you close. He mumbles against your lips.

"Please, I need you." His voice is hoarse, he swallows thickly. "I need to feel you again."

The needy, breathy tone of his begging goes straight through you. Oh, you want this. You're just cautious, sure he's healed up well, but you're still afraid.

Of what, you're not entirely certain. But the fear of somehow hurting him crosses your mind. As if he can read your mind -and maybe he can- he trails a finger across your cheek, his voice is soft.

"Please don't worry about me, I'm ready. I want this, I want _you._ But only if you want it too."

You gently cradle his face, his eyes are so sure. You don't see any hint of doubt, trepidation or fear in them. His confidence rubs off on you, calming you a little.

"Ok, but I'm still going to take it slow with you."

He smiles, picking you up, you can feel his strong arms flexing as he does, the sensation going straight through you. Your legs wrap around his waist. He carries you to your bedroom, carefully settling you against the pillows.

Much to your relief, he does take it pretty slow, simply kissing you over and over to start. He pulls away just enough to look into your eyes, a gentle lovesick smile graces his face. You gently trace and caress his scars with the tip of your finger, his breath hitches at the tenderness of your action and gaze.

You still don't know the story behind these marks, and you can't even begin to imagine what he'd seen this time, for he still hasn't opened up to you about it yet. But every so often you see the effect that it has on him, how helpless you feel when he trembles as he remembers something, how the only thing you can do is hold him. You swear you'll make him forget all about it, about everything even if it's just for tonight. Because tonight it's just the two of you.

You pull his shirt over his head, he raises his arms to help you out. He lovingly watches as you trail your fingers across his collarbones.

Sure you've seen him shirtless plenty of times before, but this is different. This is the first time you've been able to drink in the sight of him since the night before he left. Any other time since he returned was to simply help tend to his wounds. 

His abs have softened just a bit from all the rest he's been getting, and it makes you so incredibly happy. He no longer has to train and push his body beyond it's limits to keep up with the demands of scout life. He's still rather fit and toned from all his work in the garden, his thighs are a bit thicker, his arms too. 

He's healthy, and so so beautiful.

And he's entirely irresistible.

But life sure has marked him up since you'd last seen him, life fucked him to hell and back, but you're determined to reclaim him with marks of your own.

You gently push him back against the pillows, wanting to keep a slower pace, still worried he might overexert himself. You gently kiss each and every silvery scar you find. Thanking your lucky stars that he survived what ever happened to be here with you once more. You were prepared for him to never return, but he's here. He's here tearing up at your praise and worship, cheeks flushing a soft pink as he covers his mouth with his hand to keep from crying out.

Your hand accidentally brushes against his dick, which is already hard and straining against the fabric of his pants. He moans out at the feeling. You sit back, removing both his pants and boxers at the same time, tossing them somewhere on the floor behind you. He hisses when his dick is freed, the air of the room hitting the hot skin.

You trail the softest kisses to the underside of his painfully hard cock, savoring the feeling of his pulsing vein against your lips and the knowledge that you're still the only one who can fluster him like this. He can barely think at the sensation of your soft lips on him again. 

His dick twitches suddenly at feeling your tongue licking the precum off his tip, and he freezes. He takes a steadying breath, his voice is strained and sheepish when he tells you:

"C-careful, my stamina isn't what it used to be."

You stop your movements, giving him a soft and understanding smile. You move to hover over him, placing a kiss against his warm cheek.

You trail hot kisses along the soft skin of his throat, pride flaring softly at feeling him swallow thickly. You spot a small but still noticeable scar on his shoulder, you gently bite the soft skin to reclaim it, then soothe it with your tongue and lips, taking a moment to admire the blooming mark.

Suddenly, he slips his arms around you, and quickly switches your positions, he's now hovering above you.

"Let me take care of you first? I want to taste you again."

You gasp softly at his tone and hungry gaze. The heat spreading through your body culminates in your navel, quickly morphing into that familiar burning feeling. You can only nod, your mouth running dry.

He tenderly removes your clothes, fingers brushing your skin as he does, the look in his eyes a beautiful paradox. They shine in the purest admiration, in love but also deep, heady lust. You've missed him so much more than you'd even realized, your body is on fire, burning at every one of his touches. Having gone without it so long, your body _aches_ for him.

He takes a moment to simply admire your body, you're just as stunning as ever. His hands and fingers trace against your skin, leaving sparks behind. He presses tender kisses across your stomach and hips, trailing impossibly further down. His eyes flick to yours from between your legs and your breath catches.

He uses his tongue, his mouth, his hands and fingers. Even with his missing fingers he adapts pretty well, still remembering just how to get you to that high place, after all this time he's never forgotten. The thought sends another jolt of arousal through you. 

That heavy, warm feeling pooling in your stomach grows exponentially and steadily as he continues his movements. His brows scrunch softly, a pitiful moan escaping him as he focuses harder on getting you to your high. Your heart skips a beat at his concentration. 

He savors everything your body gives him. Your scent is thick and utterly intoxicating, clouding his mind and rendering him incapable of any thought besides you. Your taste is damning, he's losing control of his own body quickly. Meaning, he might just cream without any touch, which is a first for him. Every sinful reaction, every sound you're making is pushing him closer to his own peak.

But then, you seize up, crying out his name as you tumble over the edge, legs trembling. He shakes his head a little to clear it, watching your expressions and listening to your panting breaths as you revel in the bliss he's granted you, he presses the gentlest of kisses to your thighs and knees. He moves back to leaning over you, his thumbs stroking your cheeks softly.

You hold him close as you continue to ride out your orgasm, burying your face against his shoulder. He slips his own arms around you in return, anchoring you. He rests against you, though he's careful not to place all his weight on top of you as he sings your praises. Sweet whisperings of how much he's missed watching you crumble at his touch, how beautiful you are.

His brain is short circuiting, arousal flaring overwhelmingly throughout his body. 

Just as your breathing returns to normal, he mewls, a sound you've never heard from him before. You pull back, his eyes are fluttering. Your eyes travel further down, his dick is pulsing, releasing onto your stomach. You're in awe, he came just from touching and pleasuring _you._

He feels you staring, squeaking out a small _sorry_ through his gritted teeth, trying to regain control over his breathing and body. You gently kiss his cheek, hands stroking his back.

"Don't apologize darling."

You can feel him relax just a bit.

"I'm just amazed. _I_ got you that turned on that you came without me touching you? It makes me feel so powerful."

You press another kiss to his cheek, which is burning red, a small smile rests on his face at hearing your words.

Once he's recovered enough, he moves to the edge of the bed and reaches down to the floor, picking up his shirt that you'd previously discarded. He uses it to gently clean your stomach off, wiping his sticky accidental release from your skin. Then tosses it on the floor once more. 

For whatever reason, the gentle care of his action gets you riled up again, that burning need inside you rearing up once more. And by the looks of it, he's near hard again already.

"I need to feel you inside, Levi."

He nods as he returns to his previous position right above you.

Your hands rest on his shoulders, your gaze dips down, drinking in the sight of Levi lining himself up with you. You softly gasp and your eyes fly to his as you feel his tip pressing in. 

His gaze is quickly growing hazy, his mind clouding over at feeling you around him again. He kisses your forehead as he pushes in a little more, stopping to let both of you adjust. He continues slowly until he's bottomed out. 

You both groan in near perfect sync when he does.

You've missed this, that stretch, the way he's filling you. You can feel him throbbing inside, his eyes are shut tight and his breathing is labored. He's trying not to lose it again, it's been so long and you feel so good, he could spill again right now.

"I'm ready when you are."

He nods softly at your ok, but makes no move just yet. He has a white knuckle grip on the sheets, his mind is hazy and spinning.

A few moments pass, he takes a deep, steadying breath and his eyes flutter open. They're clearer, hungry. But still soft.

That same gaze that you've seen countless times before, yet still has the same effect on you. It steals your breath for a moment, but you quickly regain it. And just in time too, because just as you do he gives a deep testing thrust.

Once again you both cry out in tandem. 

He rocks in and out of you deeply, gently, making up for lost time. It's incredibly passionate, but at the same time light and giddy, the effervescent excitement of being able to be lovers again. He simply can't stop pressing kisses all over your face, savoring each of your soft giggles and bashful smiles that end in a moan and rather sinful expression. 

Did he always hit so deep inside of you before? Or has it been that long that you've forgotten. Either way, he's hitting that spot each time he pushes into you, once again steadily building that fire in your stomach.

This is the most beautiful thing either of you have experienced. Two souls finally reconnecting after an eternity apart. In a way it's almost like your first time as you rediscover each other's bodies.

Sure, you'd had a physical reunion months ago and while it was wonderful, this is so much deeper. So much better. This is a reunion on the most intimate level, and it makes your bodies, even your souls ache in gratitude that you're able to experience it.

Every moan and heady groan that falls from his lips, you can feel each of them. They ebb and flow just below your skin, amplifying your arousal. They vibrate through you, and you're sure he can feel yours. 

His eyes start to mist up at feeling you around him again, of being able to pleasure you again, your warmth pulling him in further than he ever remembers. His tears spill over and thud softly against your chest as they drip down his cheeks. You gently hold his face, wiping each tear away.

Your own tears start to form. Equal parts from the overwhelming pleasure of feeling him again, and seeing him cry, his eyes squeezing shut. You didn't see him do it often before, it made you sad then, and even more now.

As the two of you get closer, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close against him. You hear him sniffle softly and you gently kiss his shoulder, moaning out as he pushes into you again. You can both feel each other's hearts pounding against your chests. He continues pushing in and out in that achingly sweet, deep rhythm.

He moves to hide his face against your shoulder, but you gently stop him.

"I want to see your face when you cum, and I want you to see mine."

He nearly squeaks.

But he obliges, it's mere moments later when the two of you succumb to pleasure within seconds of each other. 

He's breathtaking.

His face softens, mouth open as he pants. His eyes haze over and he can hardly keep them open. His arms are trembling with the effort to keep himself from collapsing on top of you. 

You're otherworldly.

As much as he can see in his haze, you're beautiful. Your hands grip onto his forearms as you arch up into him, head tipping back a little, but not enough that he can't see your expression. You're biting your lip, muffled moans and soft breaths tumbling out of you. Your eyes struggle to stay open against the pleasure tearing through you as you lovingly watch him.

You both continue to bask in the ecstasy, of feeling each other, trembling together. You savor the feeling of him throbbing and spilling into you. He's missed the feeling of you spasming around him, milking him for all he's worth. How did he ever survive a day without you? Without this? And for that matter, how did _you_ survive? 

All too soon, he pulls out, kissing you to swallow the whimper that escapes at the emptiness he leaves behind. He then gently leans his forehead against yours, his voice is hoarse and carries so many emotions as he speaks up.

"I don't have to leave you, ever again."

And he's right. 

Because this time when you wake up, remnants of last night's afterglow still wrapped around you, Levi is right there beside you, his hand still entwined with yours. His wedding band softly glinting in the early morning sun.

He's so achingly yours. 

And he makes sure you know as he makes love to you once again, the soft morning sunlight pouring in through the window. Soft yet lust filled gazes, pounding hearts, the sound of the sheets as you move against each other. Pleasured moans, whispered sweet nothings and I love yous, promises for the future. The warmth surrounding you, filling you, healing you. The soft scent of sweat and combined arousal, dazed and dopey smiles. 

The excitement for the rest of your lives hangs tangible in the air.

\-----

The sea is as beautiful as you'd imagined, if not more. The sky is such a bright blue, and the sea reflects that exact shade, making it look like it goes on forever. Almost as if you're standing at the edge of the world, but maybe you are. A few clouds float through the otherwise clear sky. 

You take a deep breath, letting the cool salty air cleanse your lungs. The sun warms your skin as you lean back in the sand. A few families are enjoying the water, carefree as they splash around and play together.

Peace.

So this is what it's like? No more fear, no more darkness. 

You hear footsteps in the sand nearing you, turning your gaze towards the direction you hear them from, you're met by the sight of Levi coming towards you. His limp has gotten better over the years, but it's still there just enough for you to notice. His face bears the brightest smile you've ever seen as he holds your three year old son on his hip, his little hands wave rapidly at you.

You get up to meet them halfway, your beautiful little family you were sure you'd never see. 

Levi lets you take a turn holding your son, his little arms cling to your neck. He looks so much like Levi it's not even funny. He shares the same dark hair as his father, the same steely gray eyes, even his nose. Levi has apologized profusely for "those damn Ackerman genes" but you assure him you don't mind. You have two Acker-boys you love dearly and that's all you could ask for.

Levi slips an arm around your waist as you both admire the expanse of the sea. Though he doesn't admire it for long, he's seen it plenty, his eyes instead prefer to watch you. The happiness that radiates from you, holding the beautiful baby you've created together is worth every ounce of pain and fear he'd experienced.

Levi spots a small smirk appearing on your face as you suddenly take to your knees, extending your free hand to the sand just in front of you, shifting your son up higher against your side. You draw a large heart in two swift moves.

Levi watches your movements as you draw in the sand, how can something so simple be so beautiful? He's sure his face looks dopey and lovesick, but he doesn't care. He crouches down beside you, placing a hand on your toddler's back.

He watches as his name, then yours and your son's appear in the heart. The memory of the night he wrote your name in the sand after leaving crosses his mind, how amazing that you're here now. And with your son too.

He never thought he'd ever be a dad, the world was too dark, too fucked up. He'd never really had an example of what a father should be, what the hell did he know about it? There was also the fact that he just figured he could never physically have children due to his stunted growth and development.

But, by some miracle, it happened. Your baby boy is the best thing to ever happen to him besides you. He is heavily indebted to the universe for the two of you, hopefully the small amount of good he's done over his lifetime is enough in return. Because otherwise, he has no idea how he'd even begin to pay it back.

He's pulled from his thoughts, incredibly confused as he watches you write something else amongst your names. He shifts closer to get a better look.

His heart skips a beat, his eyes flicking to yours for confirmation. You wouldn't prank him about something like this, right?

"Really?"

Your eyes are teary and your smile is so bright his breath hitches softly.

"Yes."

His heart soars. 

What did he do to deserve this, to deserve such all consuming consistent happiness? He's not sure, but he's so fucking thankful he did. He reaches to wipe the tear that's streaking down your face, cradling your cheek in his gentle hand. You press a kiss to his palm and he melts. He wraps his arms around you and your son, leaning his cheek against your head.

He trails a hand down to rest tenderly against your stomach, running his thumb along it softly. Levi has never been more excited for the future, this time his salty tears aren't bitter, they're overjoyed. Because _Ackerman #4_ is written in the sand in your beautiful penmanship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for your patience as i worked on this 😂🙏
> 
> hopefully this makes up for the pain the first part caused💕
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated!! thanks for reading😌
> 
> and if you happen to really like my stuff and don't mind, consider buying me a ko-fi 💕 https://ko-fi.com/mads0674


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